Sometimes I turn on my laptop with a mission to be productive, and write something magnificently inspiring and intelligent but as soon as my fingers hit the keys there’s no magic.
Don’t get my wrong, I absolutely love this blog but these days my empathic sensitivity only allows me to have so much energy. Especially considering I work in a job that requires me to excel so much time catering to other people. Some days I feel emotionally exhausted and I just need to lay in my bed for a whole day to fully recharge. I wish I had endless stamina all the time, I wish I wasn’t so sensitive, and sometimes I even wish I wasn’t so giving to so many people. Being a nurturer is beautiful, the world needs more healers. But sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I were more selfish, if I didn’t give a f**k about what others thought, and if I didn’t feel every emotion around me. I imagine things would be less loud, I believe I’d get more stuff done for myself. However, I know my heart wouldn’t be as big. Those who lack empathy I don’t see as real human beings. They’re like robots, entirely consumed by their thoughts and not at all connected to what makes them a person.
We’re supposed to feel and feel for each other. Otherwise how can we truly love someone, most importantly how can we love ourselves?
I feel like I’m running on empty the more summer has approached. Things in my life are getting a whole lot busier which is great, but my body is flat out tired. Maybe I’ll conjure up the energy to express more soon but as of now, I feel zombified.